Hope Comes To Ireland - PDs Vote To Disband

In an emotional speech to the party faithful specially convened in a tiny grain silo outside Mullingar, Mighty Jabba The Health told delegates she believed the disbandment of the PDs was the right decision despite her own personal sadness and continuing uncommon ineptitude in her position as Health Minister.

“... this is the saddest political day for me,” she said. “Twenty-three years ago this very day, I was in Des O’Malley’s house planning the formation of a new party. It was a time of great hope and excitement and enthusiasm. No we can't"

“But today I felt compelled to speak in favour of the wind down of the Progressive Democrats. No we can't”

“I’m simply making the point that when the Progressive Democrats ceases to exist as a political party, then the Progressive Democrats are no longer a party to the current Government. No we can't. The personalities that form the government are at the discretion of the Taoiseach of the day. No we can't”

As right wing fuck-wits hugged eachother repeating the mantra "No we can't" it was left to another day to find out if another, smaller, more reactionary nazi rump can be cobbled together to affect the body politic like a disproportionately tiny yet fatal disease. The hope for us all is that Harney's "NO...we can't" rings through the ages.

As the story broke, "Taoiseach" Brian Cowface was said to be considering a new cabinet position for Mighty Jabba - Minister For Ensuring The Premature Death Of Approximately 100 42 Year Old Women In Or Around 2038. That go-getter, she is already on it. Such commitment. Such foresight. Such a useless twat.















An emotional delegate takes to the floor at the meeting where PD grassroots members voted to disband